You can e-mail me at [email protected]

"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief
All kill their inspiration and sing about their grief..."

--"The Fly" (Bono, 1991)

Despite the somewhat cynical quote above (which is from a song by U2, who are playing here this week, and who rocked a fan's world last night by inviting him onstage to play guitar on one song), I greatly admire artists (unless they're mixing depictions of religious figures with bodily fluids, or otherwise showing total contempt for their audience). Their work, in varying degrees, improves us by giving us some insight into our world and/or the human condition. Plus, I find the impulse to create so breathtaking, so noble.

This is one of the reasons I chose to start this Web site. I haven't nutured my creative side in quite a while. I like to write -- I even used to be a newspaper reporter -- but all I've done lately with the English language is draft legalese. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that creating deeds and agreements pays my bills. But I really can't cut loose and play with words in those instances. Here I can.

Another reason I started not-your-average-joe.com is to keep friends updated on my life. It's not that mine is so fascinating that it merits continuous coverage, but those that have moved away can get a sense of what I'm doing without resorting to e-mail, which we don't send as often as before. The likely reasons, I think, are: the novelty of e-mail has worn off, we're busy, and after staring at a computer screen for hours at work, we don't relish doing it for too long at home.

Finally, writing about my life makes me feel better, especially when times are rough, like now. Pouring my feelings out on the screen is a catharsis, and it also lets me put things in perspective. Knowing that someone will be reading this gives what I write an extra depth I couldn't realize scribbling in a private journal.

I'm not going to get intensely personal here and start revealing incredibly intimate details like those years I secretly spent as an adult film superstar (that's a joke, I think). I mean, this page can be accessed by anyone with a broswer. I have gotten more personal than I expected, though. I wanted to avoid indulging in angst like too many other blogs (click the "Blogger" icon on the left to find out all about blogging). Recent events have soured my mood considerably but, I'm sure, temporarily.
posted by Joe at 7:27 PM

"Here's my story, sad but true/
It's about a girl that I once knew..."
-- "Runaround Sue" (Dimicci/Maresca, 1961)

OK, time to explain why I've been feeling down. My last girlfriend (let's call her "J.Lo" because she's a beautiful diva) and I broke up last year, but continued to date. We were free to date other people, but to my knowledge did not. We saw each other on a regular basis and talked every day. I guess you could say she was my "quasi-girlfriend". That all changed in April, when she started becoming distant. Didn't accept my invitations right away, then didn't want to be touched, then her enthusiasm for kissing plummeted, too. A few weeks ago, even our daily and nightly phone conversations stopped. She started giving me these lame excuses: she was tired, feeling ill, had things on her mind, etc. No more dinner dates, no more lunch dates. A constant presence in my life for the past three-plus years basically disappeared just like that.

What a kick in the heart. Not only were we no longer boyfriend-girlfriend, we were no longer dating and then barely speaking. She denied she was dating anyone else, but I'd bet anything she was. Such a dramatic change in personality made no sense otherwise. She just said she was "changing" and "growing". Whatever. Her previous, supposedly humorous comments like "I have three months to find a source of income", i.e., a significant other to pay her grad school tuition, didn't minimize my suspicions. Anyway, even though these suspicions hurt, I had no right to protest her dating other guys; we broke up, after all. What really cut was her evasiveness, her probable dishonesty, and her rather sudden, almost total exclusion of me from her life, even as a friend. I felt so alone and unwanted. She did call every few days to see how I was doing, but then cut the conversation short very quickly. My complaints about her behavior were ignored.

So that's why I've been bumming. Despite her flaws, she meant so much to me. My sadness lifted a bit this week when she talked to me a little longer on Tuesday after days of silence. Then I wore her down enough to agree that we could go out occasionally as friends. She suggested lunch on Thursday, and that's why my spirits were higher that evening. Though the mood was a bit strained, it was also pleasant for the most part. The conversation flowed pretty steadily, and she held my hand as I walked her back to work. She said my recent weight loss looked good, and she rubbed my tummy. I'm certainly not thinking a reconciliation is probable, but at least we've stopped being strangers. She didn't call that night, but she did Friday morning. So I'm feeling better, but still not great. Damn it, there's just something about J.Lo that turns me to jelly.

I thought my feelings about romance might have been why I thought Pearl Harbor and its love story were mediocre, but after reading reviews at Cranky Critic and Rotten Tomatoes, I'd say I'm not the only one who thought that subplot was hooey. I saw the movie the day it opened. I was visiting my 'rents Memorial Day Weekend and was trying to cheer myself up. Went to the mall, hit the bookstore and the video arcade (love those driving games.) Then it was time for the supposed "movie of the summer", which is THREE HOURS LONG.

That's at least an hour too long, because, man, did it drag the first 90 minutes. When the bombs start falling, of course, the pace improves, but overall, I'd say it was barely worth the $6 I paid for matinee admission.
posted by Joe at 8:18 PM

"'[T]his oblique and shifting cathode mosaic uncovers the blueprint for an era of new sensations and possibilities. An era of the conceivable made concrete...and of the casually miraculous.'"
-- Alan Moore, WATCHMEN (1986)

So this is my web site. Welcome. If you're asking, "What's this all about, Joe?", have patience. All will eventually be explained. I just wanted to start this weblog ("blog" to you hipsters) on an upbeat note. I haven't been feeling well lately, and that may continue for a while. Today, though, I'm feeling pretty good.

The main reason, I think, is that I had lunch with my ex-girlfriend. Why that's significant will also become clear in the future. Until then, check out this kung fu action.
posted by Joe at 9:30 PM